Conversations with My Grandma – September, 2008
R: "Mom, did you have some Chinese food?"
Grandma: "I don't know those people!"
R: "No, CR got some CHINESE FOOD"
Grandma: "I ate at 5:00 because he didn't tell me he was getting Chinese food."
R: "Well, it was 6:00 when I told him to get Chinese food - you already ate."
Grandma: "He should have told me he was going to get Chinese food."
CR: "R, please stop. Do not talk to her unless you absolutely have to."
Doctor: "So, how long has your knee been bothering you?"
Grandma: "I'm 83 years old."
(Grandma has to get knee surgery)
Doctor: "She will have to have someone with her when she gets home from the hospital... she will be on pain medication and be loopy (out of it)."
R: "OH MY GOD."
CR: "What the hell! She is loopy enough as it is."
R: "I'm tired, I am going to put my pajamas on."
Grandma: “Oh you are going out tonight?"
R: "Oh yes, I always go out in my PJ’s."
K: “Grandma, do you want to see a picture of me and M at prom?”
Grandma: “No, CA already made me brownies.”
CR: “You can start dinner, R won’t be home for awhile.”
Grandma: “I know, my back hurts too.”
Grandma: “Stand up for your rights!” (as CR and Grandma pull out of the driveway)
R: “I’m the boss!”
Grandma: “You’re not the boss, I’m older!”
(CA calls to talk to CR)
CA: “Grandma, it’s CA…”
Grandma: “What?!”
CA: “It’s me, CA.”
Grandma: “Who are you trying to reach?!”
CA: “Grandma, it’s CA!”
Grandma: “There’s no one here by that name, bye bye!”
Grandma: "I was just watching War of the Worlds."
R: "Why don't you ever watch some newer movies?"
Grandma: "How am I supposed to do that?"
R: "By changing the channel."
R: "You are taking your cell phone with you when you go on a walk, aren't you?"
Grandma: "No, no one calls me on it."
R: "That is not the reason you should take it. It is not just to receive calls."
Grandma: "I know, it's in case I have to call me."
R: "No, you don't call yourself. It is in case something happens; for example, if you fall or get lost. You need to have the phone to call us or 911."
Grandma: "Okay, I will take it with me."
Grandma: “I need to go to the fire station to get my blood pressure checked because my eyes hurt.”
Grandma: “There’s a bone growing in my mouth. I need to go to the doctor to get it removed.”
R: “T is going to get the mail and the paper. Do not get the mail or the paper. T will do it. I do not want to worry about you falling or the dog getting out.”
Grandma: “Okay.”
R (to be sure she heard and understood): “So, are you going to get the mail and the paper?”
Grandma: “Yes, I can get the mail and the paper.”
R: “Why didn't you eat the left over pasta with meat sauce?”
Grandma: “Well I ate some of the plain pasta.”
R: “Why didn't you eat the other pasta? Do you have something against leftovers?”
Grandma; “No, I eat leftovers. I just wanted to use my packet of sloppy joe seasoning so it would not be wasted.”
R: “Well, now we have to throw out expensive meat because you wanted to use a $2.00 packet of seasoning which would not spoil for a year…”
Grandma (complaining about her knee): “I should not have done the surgery.”
R: “Well, then you'd be in a wheelchair in a couple years and not be able to walk.”
Grandma: “I would not be in a wheelchair, I would have got a scooter.”
R: “Really, well how would you get to the doctor? I would not buy a van to take you and your scooter around. You could not take the scooter on the freeway. You could not take a shower in the scooter, etc.”
Grandma: BLANK LOOK
Grandma: “What are you watching?”
R: “The Academy Awards are on.”
Grandma: “Oh, channel 7, I will watch it in my room.”
R: “You do not even know these movies or any of the people up for awards.”
Grandma: “Oh, they don't give awards to old movies that I know?”
R: “No, only movies that came out in the last year... not 30 years ago.”
Grandma: "I just don't understand it, I take those pills and my blood pressure is still high. I have to go to the doctor."
R: "What was it?"
Grandma "What?"
R: "Your BLOOD PRESSURE, what was the reading?"
Grandma: "155."
R: "155 over what?"
Grandma: "Just 155."
R: "There are 2 numbers to blood pressure. What was the other number?"
Grandma: "It is just 155."
R: "Well, 155 must be the first number, because if it was the 2nd number, it would have killed you already… and that is not high, it is lower than CR."
Grandma: "It sounds high to me."
