Best "Oops!" Moments from Horror Movies - July, 2012
Whatever that means...
1. Psycho (1960): When Norman Bates is sinking Marion Crane's car into the lagoon, it snags for a few seconds halfway down. Norman's panicked expression (at 1:08 of this clip) is priceless.
2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974): At 4:30 of this clip, Leatherface's family tries to give Grandpa the honor of making a kill for old time's sake, but he's so old that he can't even hold up the hammer.
3. Carrie (1976): At 6:00 of this clip, Sue, the only survivor of Carrie's prom night massacre, appears sympathetic to Carrie's mental snap only to get a surprise of her own. Eh, but it was only a dream. Go ahead and watch the whole clip for Piper Laurie's orgasmic (if not biblical) death.
4. Friday the 13th (1980): Another surprise ending when all seems so peaceful. And the only real close-up of Jason you'll ever get.
5. Night of the Living Dead (1968): What a shame. After a night of zombie apocalyptic horror, help is finally on the way for the heroic Ben. Except that the help mistakes him for a zombie and shoots him in the head. Damn the white man. Start this clip at 3:00.
6. Pet Sematary (1989): Desperation at its finest. After all that has happened, Louis still hasn't learned his lesson and decides to bring his wife back from the dead. Sure, they kiss a little, exchange some guts, but she kills him anyway. Dumbass.
7. The Ring (2002): Naomi Watts just can't get it right. Just when she thinks she's clear by freeing the creepy little ring girl, her precocious son (who somehow knows all the answers) informs her that that was a stupid move (at 2:20 of this clip).
Things I Have Learned from Dating Lesbians - July, 2012
1. Lesbians are all friends with their exes.
2. There is only one excuse for not wanting to have sex and that is "I'm
too tired tonight." Any other reason is the WRONG ANSWER.
3. Dildos are expensive.
4. Bitches be crazy.
5. After sleeping
with someone for the first time, the best indication that she's into you
is if she wants to do brunch the next morning. Conversely, comments
like, "I'm not sure what's going on between me and my ex" or "I don't
believe in monogamy" are red flags.
6. Lesbians love to do brunch.
7. Lesbians love to cuddle.
8. Some exes just never go away.
9. Lesbians are all connected somehow.
10. ...Bitches be crazy.
